Ep. 20: "We Can All Agree on Cheese"


 * The Problem: Lot of people can’t enjoy a lady steak.

Giving (and receiving) notes on one's choice in artificial fragance. Walgreen's is Merlin's local. John corrects his wealthy friend's Scott bathroom tissue buying habit. Merlin and John give us background on the literal human holocaust that Scott toilet paper represents. John buys his pillows at Ross Dress for Less. John is allergic to feathers; this is why he never wears a boa. Merlin explains Mann's Assumption: everything in a hotel room has been in somebody's ass. There are too many pillows on a hotel bed. Most have probably been involved in some filthy act. John is repellent to bedbugs because he has the antibodies for Lyme disease; he was bitten by a strange tick in a forest in the Netherlands. John had lice a bunch of times as a kid, because there was no gathering of kids John didn't want to get into and rub his head against. John expresses confusion over his somewhat slanty eyes, like a Laplander scanning the tundra for reindeer. It could be because he's a high plains drifter. John looks radically different when he is not wearing glasses. He has 170 pairs of glasses. [In the event that John has to go on the lam, the above information is kept under wraps] John has a beard-shaped chin. John cuts his own hair, which is why his hair varies so much. 3am is the hour of dissatisfaction. John refuses to agree to disagree: "I agree to nothing!"

Merlin: "You were having two different conversations: one of them was a conversation about trying to agree on the best utilitarian solution for what we'd like on our pizza, and the other guy wanted to be right."